Report Card

I was thinking about going back to school today. It seems like everyone I know is getting ready for it, except Drew and me. This is the first year that has happened for me. Even though I have not been in school for the last 5 years I still thought about it every fall as co-eds prepared to return to campus and I prepared to welcome them with the gospel.

Sometimes I wish a still got a report card. I actually looked forward to my annual job reviews (maybe its the perfectionist in me?)...a little weird I know, but at least it was honest, clear feedback about a few things I could focus and improve over the next year.

Parenting is completely different. In case you didn't know there are no report cards in parenting...unless you count a visit from CPS, but that would be a complete fail in my book (not too funny either after hearing some of the stories from Drew's rotation on pediatric surgery this month).

I had tended to feel like I was doing a good job based on Evelyn's happiness, especially toward the end of the day. Did I stay on schedule? Did she get enough sleep? Enough stimulation or too much? Its not just hearing her cry or fuss that's hard on me its the feeling that I somehow messed up and caused her to be upset, because most of the time she is easy going, and usually its clear to me why she is upset.

But then I read this article (on whether parents are happier than childless people) and this one (how to raise a happy baby)

It made me think and was helpful to remember that
1. Babies just cry sometimes (especially to fight sleep)
2. I can't control anyone other than myself (and sometimes even that is too much)
3. I'm still learning as a parent and that means I will make mistakes (its the best way to learn)
4. God knows this about humans and still gives us children (?!?!?!)...so he also must make us all very resilient in those first months/years out of the womb.
5. I really love my daughter and even when I do mess up I can still communicate my love to her, and that is probably more important than adhering vehemently to the schedule or singing enough nursery rhymes in a day.